Sunday, December 31, 2006

Bad Shepherd, Bad

Today I saw The Good Shepherd, a Robert De Niro film. It lasted two hours and one half, and I regret it. No movie has given me a headache except for this one. The plot is long-winded and shallow, the action unknown, and the characters only somewhat interesting. I never knew that Matt Damon could be so boring. By the end of the film, I was waiting for the moment of truth - the assassination of Damon's character. I literally was waiting for Matt Damon to die. I was waiting for some instance that would validate the two hours I had spent in my seat, but sadly none was offered. I can't even say for sure if the ending was happy or sad. It really doesn't matter.

The whole thing is a bomb. The actors apparently were trying to recreate that atmosphere of The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supremacy - terse, untrustworthy, and delicate - but there was hardly any action at all. For a CIA movie, you'd think there'd be some substance there. Of course, betrayal played a role in the plot, but that's like eating steamed cabbage without any corned beef. It's categorically sludge. The whole thing has the consistency of dried cement - coincidentally where the movie should be buried.

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